Saturday, April 18, 2009

Care to come along?

So it has been a week and I am sure most of you have grown used to my random absences. I do apologize though; I wish I was better at blogging. I just feel I have nothing worth hearing. Therein lies the problem. I think a problem a lot of moms have and why so many of us have turned to blogging. We don’t really think what we have to say is too important, but we hope that someone will think that what we say matters. I have had a rough week, not like lately, no deaths in the family or natural disasters, but emotionally. I realized I missed “ME” the old me. The “me” before I was a mother, the “me” that read A LOT! The “me” that traveled, went to museums regularly, sought out new music, and tried anything new at least once. That version of me was confident, contemplative, intellectual and informed. I realized this week that I do not love this new not improved version of myself. Not in the sense that I am like an insecure teenager but more a person who just woke up and realized they were on the wrong track. Maybe this all sounds crazy, I am sure it does, but just maybe you too have had a moment when you realized you are changing and not for the better. Don’t get me wrong I love being a mom, but who said that I can’t be the old version of myself and still a mother? I think the old Lani is actually better suited to be a mother than this current version. So I guess my point is I am getting back to me. So be prepared for more blogs, more information about the world, things that inspire me, things that make me look at the world in new ways, and things that simply entertain me. I hope you are willing to join me.

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